Deep
by Hazey Rine Chu
Summary: Swish- Gasp- Sigh   The adorable and beautiful color slipped out of the neat slice she had made, the knife going into her skin. Deeply. But not as deep as she wanted it to be. "I love you and I promise you're my everything."


**Well, this is more angst than gore! I'm making a new gore fic if only my sister and my mother would get off of the computer for a second then i could get it done, sadly they won't leave. Today was a good day till i got home, how 'bout you, how was your day today? o.O RANDOM! XP**

**I don't own Shugo Chara!**

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><p><strong>Swish- Gasp- Sigh<strong>

The adorable and beautiful color slipped out of the neat slice she had made, the knife going into her skin.

Deeply. But not as deep as she wanted it to.

Her eyes flickered to the left and right of her room. Someone could be watching her from outside her window and someone could probably bang her doors open and see her doing something as horribly pathetic as this. Mashiro Rima wasn't one to cut herself but today was a must. She had seen them today, again she had seen them today. Holding hands as they walked down the park. They were smiling and laughing at whatever the heck they were talking about.

It looked so much more romantic and rather a whole lot more sappy when it was him and her walking around, fingers intertwined together, long hair getting tangled in the wind. It was better when it was them, violet and pink was such a contradicting pair. Not like yellow and violet, you'd think you were seeing a butterfly instead of their hair.

**Swish- Gasp- Sigh **

The knife made a beautiful letter 'D' on her small pale arm as she rested her head on the white cotton pillow, her blonde hair pooling over the side of her bed as she titled her head that direction, eyes looping down. Loosing blood was not a fun thing, but it was one way of trying to get over something you never thought you cared about.

At least it had been magic. Magic when he looked into her eyes. Magic when he got her to cook. Magic when he carried her like a bride. Magic when she said those three words. Magic when he kissed her for the very first time. Magic when they slept under the stars. Magic when they had that picnic. Magic when they agreed to go against the world.

It was** magic.**

**Swish- Gasp- Sigh **

**Rima. Nagi. Amu.**

**Yellow. Violet. Pink.**

Sure she wasn't tall like her, and sure she didn't have the same size bra as the pinkette did, but she was so much better. She was good in Mathematics and English wherein she sucked like a leech. She could cook a decent meal when she was in the mood whereas she needed a guide book to plough through. She didn't need to use makeup or any of those stupid things, unlike her who pounded mascara and compact powder every chance she got.

**Swish- Gasp- Sigh **

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Rima gasped a second time and dropped the knife, making it tumble down her bed, staining the little white parts left before it dropped to the floor with a loud 'clang'. Wincing ever so slightly, the small blonde waited for one of her parents to come running in to her room, but as expected no one came.

Her eyes moved to the phone on her bed and she picked it up by the edge. She didn't want to get any of her blood on it. There was a text. Sighing she clicked open and saw the sender.

**Fuyuki Kirishima.**

_He was my past. He is now my present. _

**_'Meet me in the park, all right?' _**

**Swish- Gasp- Sigh **

Before replying back with a simple 'okay', Rima had snatched the knife from the floor and neatly carved the last line to form the letter 'D' on her pale and skinny arm. Afterwards she stood up and left her room, not wanting to see the mess she had made, or worse, see the mess she made and break down, knowing that this was rather pathetic of her.

She couldn't tell Yaya cause the girl was too immature to care. She couldn't tell Utau cause she wasn't her best friend. She couldn't tell Amu- that wasn't even a possibility anymore. Amu would undoubtedly get mad at her if she started wailing and sobbing about how much she missed Nagihiko.

**Swish- Gasp- Sigh **

It wasn't the sound of the knife that made that 'swish'. It was the swinging of the medicine cabinet as Rima fished for the first aid kit so she could tend to her wounds. No matter how much she adored the color red, she didn't want anyone to know what she was doing to herself. Her parents would get mad and her friends would just get worried. She didn't need any more of those pitiful looks or those stupid greetings of 'are you okay?'. No, she just wouldn't be able to take anymore.

**_Hiss_****- Gasp-Sigh**

The alcohol she had used to clean up the wounds brought sharp pangs of quick but painful strikes. The consequences of getting wounds as big as these was something that infuriated Rima. But she'd rather take the pain of slashing her arm than breaking down thanks to a broken heart any day.

**Swish- Gasp- Sigh**

Rima look at her reflection, the cause of her surprised gasp. She herself could see the pained look in her eyes. The uncomfortable looked in her eyes. This was inexcusable. If she didn't want any of those pitiful comments and looks then why was she making it harder for herself. Swiftly arranging her features, though no one could see her, into a smile, she let out a sigh. Her eyes were brighter than they had been a second ago, and they didn't look so lifeless, nor did they look broken.

There was a loud crash from downstairs and Rima quickly took note of it. She pulled herself out of the bathroom and into her room, which still had the bloody stained bed sheets and pillows. Swiftly she grabbed them by the edges and tossed them under her bed, covering the bare mattress with her blanket before walking out of her room with a carefully placed bored face.

"I'm going out." She whispered over her shoulder, though she was sure her parents couldn't hear her. What with the screaming and yelling they were doing. Rima sighed as she pushed her hands in her bright red jacket. It was something she grabbed on her way out of the house. Her tank top was a bright orange which you could see from the open zipper of aforementioned jacket and she wore casual jeans to go with that.

The** perfect **casual get-up.

For an** _assumed_ perfect…date.**

**Swish- Gasp- Sigh **

Her hair made the swishing sound this time as the wind pushed through and made the blonde tresses sway from side to side. Annoyed, she pushed it over her shoulder and kept on walking.

She didn't want to though.

When it was Nagihiko who would take her to a date of theirs, he'd always pick her up. He'd always bring her a gift. At first it was an Havana amethyst necklace that she had said she liked, next was this 'Hot Spots' wallet she was saving up for, the third was a huge mountain shaped 'Hershey' chocolate and the last was the one that Rima liked the best, was this beautiful Hibiscus variety plant that complimented her hair. It was Rima's much preferred Jewelry- Fashion Store- Chocolate- Flower favorites. And she loved it that Nagihiko knew so much about her.

Just like she knew** him.**

He liked making people insecure. He liked wearing long sleeved shirts. He liked being kept in style. He likes math problems. He liked to cook. He liked knee high shoes. He liked wearing his hair in low ponytails, sometimes half ponytails. He hated being woken up, just as much as he hates getting late. He hates it when people worry over him and he hates it when the people around him are hurt.

**_I love you and I promise that you're my everything_**

Rima must' have meant that much to him then cause where was he now when she needed him the most? When she needed a friend? A companion? And most of all, when she needed her confidant? Those words were nothing but a memory cause everything about them was gone.

The way his eyes sparkled when he laughed at her jokes.

**Gone.**

The way her heart skipped beats when she smiled at him.

**Gone.**

The way his cheeks tinted a pink whenever she teased.

**Gone.**

The way her lips warmed up whenever they kissed.

**Gone.**

**Swish- Gasp- Sigh **

"Ri-Rima-chan?" her body had been flung over to the side and she hissed when her freshly cut arm slammed to the pavement. Her golden eyes widened as she worried about the blood that could come out.

Not here, not here where everyone can see it. Not here where they'll wonder what happened and give her those faces. Her eyes shimmied away from her arm to the person across from her.

His eyes were wide, his lips were parted and his hand was on his head. Rima's lips flittered to the practiced smile she used whenever he was around. Like the jacket around her upper body, like the front she used to push people away, it was a cover up. Simply placed there so it wouldn't hurt.

Her lips opened and she froze. What would she say? What would she do? Would she push him away? Or at the very least, help him see how she felt.

**_I'm still in love with you_**

"Hello Fujisaki-kun" she saw how his eyes narrowed at the way she said his last name. How there was no anger in her voice. How there was no teasing. It was… different from the real her.

**_I gotta let you know..._**

"Sorry 'bout that." He helped her up, looking quite sheepish and apologetic as he dusted his pants. He looked fairly handsome in his jeans and blue green button up. Rima 's breath stopped but she just shook her head.

"I wasn't looking," she dusted her jeans and winced at the pain tugging on her arm. Nagihiko noticed and grabbed her wrist before pulling the sleeve, revealing, in Rima's opinion, the beautiful letter 'D'.

"Rima-chan…" his voice trailed off as his eyes widened, a pitiful look lingering at the very, very back of the amber colored irises. Rima glared at him meaningfully before snatching her hand back.

"None of your business." She pulled the sleeve down and turned on her heel, wanting nothing but to get away from him. Soon enough she was far away and she saw the park_, _eyes seeing her boyfriend's bright blazing red hair.

**Swish- Gasp- Sigh **

What was she doing here?

**He was my past. He is now my present.**

**But the blood moon has shined a full circle not that lone crescent**

**I love you and I promise that you're my everything.**

**But I know I won't be the one wearing that ring.**

**You said you didn't want to see me sad, didn't want to hear me sigh.**

**Were you shutting your eyes as I did nothing but cry?**

**You're smarter than this what has she done to you?**

**Why can't you get the obvious clues?**

**I know that you're with her**

**And it was me that you hurt**

**You cut me deep Fujisaki Nagihiko… deeper than you can possibly imagine**

**Swish-Gasp-Sigh**

Finished, finally finished.

Rima admired the red dripping down the bathroom sink before looking at the mirror and pulling her hair away from her face. She had finished it. She had finally freakingly finished it. It was sad though that she didn't get a chance to tell him. Sad that she never had the chance.

But the knife had done and followed her wishes.

It went into her skin, deeply.

So very** deep, _deep,_ _deep_.**

That was all she wanted. To feel the pain she felt after she had lost him. He had reached into her heart and found a place for himself, settling in the deepest** (deep, deep, deep) **part**. **

The world was starting to turn rather swirly and Rima gripped the edges of the bathroom sink, her fingers slipping thanks to all the spilled blood, before she fell to her knees, though she couldn't feel the cold floors as her upper body followed and her head too hit the floor.

Her consciousness was failing her.

Letting her sink deeply** (deep, deep, deep) **into her darkest dreams and worlds.

**I know that you're with her**

**And it was me that you hurt**

**You cut me deep Fujisaki Nagihiko… deeper than you can possibly imagine**

He sat by the sofa, one arm slung over the sleeping pinkette. He smiled fondly at her, then looked at his hand, where his dark blue cell phone sat in his pale-ish palm. He wanted to send her a text, but would she answer it? Would she care? He was worried about her. Who wouldn't be?

Nagihiko sighed as he flipped his phone shut, deciding against the idea of texting her before standing up to get the door. A woman that was thirty years old or so clutched onto the arch way of the door, brown ringlets fell past her shoulders, and in her other hand was a letter. She thrusted it angrily into his hands and without any other form of introduction, she said one word.

"Read." With a raised eyebrow, Nagihiko opened the letter and read, his eyes widened with every word. He looked at the woman in front of him, saying everything with no words.

She nodded solemnly before turning around and walking away from him. "I hope your happy, Fujisaki Nagihiko."

Nagihiko slumped onto the opened door and smacked a hand to his forehead.

**He was my past. He is now my present.**

**But the blood moon has shined a full circle not that lone crescent**

**I love you and I promise that you're my everything.**

**But I know I won't be the one wearing that ring.**

**You said you didn't want to see me sad, didn't want to hear me sigh.**

**Were you shutting your eyes as I did nothing but cry?**

**You're smarter than this what has she done to you?**

**Why can't you get the obvious clues?**

**I know that you're with her**

**And it was me that you hurt**

**You cut me deep Fujisaki Nagihiko… deeper than you can possibly imagine**

Her message hit him deeply.

Deeper than you could ever imagine.

**Deep_. Deep_. _Deep_. **

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><p><strong>It had another poem in it :)<strong>

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